Getting Married? Photographer? Friend? Client? Curious? Well for sure you are one of these. I mean you are reading this after all. It’s late, on a Thursday, everyone in the house is asleep, but I’m not, not yet. It seems at night that I have so much to say and as I lay down to sleep, my thoughts surprise me and the command of my silent conversations do as well cause it’s at these times that I can best articulate my thoughts. I have toyed around with writing a book, but I have attention issues and I’m sure that would last about a half of a chapter and disintegrate. So instead I’ll try this, type it out…when it comes to me like this! why not right?
I love my husband, a lot. More than he knows. He’s sick right now, snoring next to me. What an incredible man….I have always thought that. He’s everything I always wanted my husband to be. That is why I married him. We met, in a way that if you know..yeah for you but too embarrassing to post, at least right now. But I had preconceptions of what I thought he was….just another man, not a big deal, and 6 short months later we were married (no baby y’all…not for 2 years later) but I had met someone I couldn’t live without…..I had been engaged twice before, didn’t happen….not worth getting into why….but the why I got married nearly 9 years ago is worth listening to, at least I think so.
He challenged me. In how I looked at him, how he made me look at myself. I saw a gentleman. Think about what this word means. He was everything and more you are thinking. In so many ways I wanted his attention and he did a wonderful job not giving much……but when he did it was sincere, amazingly kind….intelligent and even playful. Within those 6 dating months…..it was about 2 months before he even tried to kiss me. This was mixed with endless nights, I mean, the nights when you walk to your car, begin talking, and realize you need to go when the paper gets delivered…those kind of nights. I could talk to him forever, still can, I hang on every word….he has so much to say. His maturity was new for me. There were no games, no secrets, he was confident who he was, all his thoughts, transparent, and nothing but good was seen. He called, just to say hello, just as much as I did. I saw a respect I didn’t think a man could give, and he celebrated all of me, the good and the bad. But the most impressive part of him, and what still is, is his tender side. The side that feels and gives, and loves. I must have done something right to be blessed with a man like him. He’s so giving of himself, and in helping, and feeling….and never looks for it to be reciprocated. I love how he loves, I see it how he feels…there was no way I could ever let a man like that go….I didn’t want to live without him and I couldn’t marry him fast enough. So we could be an us.
The way I describe our relationship, total adoration. I feel like there needed to be a word stronger than love, something that explains why your heart beats, why you would even think about a family with another…..you must….adore them. They are you soul, they are your thoughts and no matter how long you are together, that adoration never tires, you still feel it, crave and celebrate it. I adore my husband, he is my foundation of life, what has made me everything that I am today.
You Marc, are my everything, and when I think of us I am always reminded of what you said to me on our wedding night. With tears in your eyes, and your hands on my face, as if you could read my mind, you said, “I feel like I am running out of time.” and I answered back to you in the words I inscribed on the inside of your wedding ring, “forever is not long enough to love you.”
